Story by Fairstars Mukungurutse
CHITUNGWIZA residents are calling for urgent reinforcement of marital counselling and community support structures following a tragic incident in which a woman took her own life after reportedly discovering romantic text messages involving her husband.
The couple, who had been married for nearly two decades, were said to have faced longstanding challenges linked to infertility. According to relatives, the late Revai Ndoro became distressed after allegedly viewing private messages exchanged between her husband and another woman.
Mr Joseph Muronda, the husband of the deceased, said the situation escalated after his wife came across the messages on a new phone.
“I bought a new phone, and while updating the system, some old messages popped up. My wife was the one who was holding the phone at that moment. She saw a message saying may you please buy me a fridge and I need money to start a business. This did not go down well with her, as she thought I was having an affair with another woman.
“I tried to explain to her that those were old messages, but she would have none of it. On Thursday, we normally go to a night vigil at church together, but on the night, she refused to go, saying it was too cold outside. I went alone, and not long after attending church, I received a call notifying me that my wife had taken rat poison tablets. We took her to the hospital, and she spent the night there and died the following morning. We buried her on Sunday,” Muronda narrated.
The deceased’s family said they were devastated by the loss and are struggling to understand the circumstances surrounding the tragedy.
“We are devastated as a family to say the least. You know the issue of girlfriends is common among married couples, but what really troubled me is why my sister thought of taking her life after discovering messages only,” brother of the deceased woman, Chamunorwa Ndoro said.
In the aftermath of the tragedy, marriage counsellors have urged couples experiencing relationship strain to seek professional help before conflicts escalate.
Marriage counsellor Mr David Kanokanga warned against handling such disputes without qualified guidance.
“When you discover that your spouse is cheating on you, there are things that you should not do. One of them is for you to tell the whole wide world. The other one is for you to rush and tell friends and relatives. Not everybody’s a qualified counsellor. What you need to do is to quickly look for professional assistance. I am referring here to qualified counsellors who will be independent and impartial, and provide a better place to guide you on the way forward. The fact that your spouse has cheated on you does not mean that that is the end of the world. There is life after the discovery of cheating, so it is very important that you quickly get assistance before you make some costly mistakes,” he said.
Marriage counsellor Dr Sibongile Mauye said unresolved conflicts often escalate when families fail to seek timely intervention.
“We must know that marriage is a lifetime commitment, but where there are problems, it’s about conflict resolution, and conflicts do need to be resolved first of all, at the family level, and then secondly at the community level. But where there are further challenges, I think couples should then seek for professional counselling, where they can actually be helped, because sometimes these problems, they can actually become psychosocial problems, and you need a psychosocial counsellor, who is equipped to be able to address such kind of things, because when people then resort to suicide, it means that they have gone beyond the usual,” Dr Mauye said.
According to the World Health Organisation, more than 720 000 lives are lost through suicide annually, making it a major global public health concern, with suicide ranking as the third leading cause of death among 15 to 29-year-olds.
